Common Sense, Funny & a Void of the Soul...A Little from Column A and A Little from Column B

If you are lacking things to discuss with distant (in every sense of the word) family members or friends of friends this holiday season, please consider the following timely topics:

There are not nearly enough human fatalities on Animal Planet.

James Kim WANTED a GPS system. Since he was the "gadget guy" (nearly every picture of him has an iPOD in there somewhere) for CNET, why didn't he get a Garmin, Tom Tom, or whatever for the trip? If he was waiting for a vendor to send him one to review, whatever. Even the big brains have to give nature its undiscriminating propers. My Brother made a good point. Having a GPS system only lets you know where you might die. Let's move on to: Why did he leave the 2005 Audi station wagon in the first place?

ASIDE: My research indicated that the Tom Tom has maps of the United States, but it's made in Europe. If I was relying on a GPS system to keep me &/or a baby safe in an Oregon snow storm, which couldn't happen, I would appreciate extensive knowledge of the U.S. backwoods. That's not the time to realize the pre-loaded maps do not apply. I'm sure all GPS systems are pretty much the same regarding cities and places where you might just get lost & need directions, but it's the X Factor that seems the most crucial.

If that's no good for you, how about this? Miss Nevada & her friends likes to waste time because they lick the outside of a thong &/or jeans. That's a lose-lose situation in real life. So close, yet SO far away. I guess that's a man's fantasy because it just makes me think she was 3 centimeters of 1/3 millimeter thick fabric away from giving a drunk girl's vagizzle something to remember.

If you're still not impressed, try a round robin of "What James Brown Meant to Me" if you're working a hard room. James Brown really knew how to work a hard room. God took his Son home on Christmas morning. I have no solid evidence that he was NOT the Christ Child. He was certainly NOT a quitter in ANY sense of the word. It seems only fitting that he left quickly and relatively painlessly. Nice. I'm hoping to go the same way. Maybe without the PCP, but who knows? I can't judge. This is a long, precarious life & I cannot predict the future.

Aunties and Uncles everywhere feel a great disturbance in the Force. James Brown, we celebrate your life & hope we have the strength to live as honestly as you did!