No One Had Their Damn Phone Out?

Incredibly, there are tons of clips about razor sharp flight attendants giving the floatation device speech but not one id-jut had their dumb phone out to record something ACTUALLY doing something? This guy's "I quit this bitch" has been heard and applauded around the world and of course it would take less than 24 hrs. to do a CGI re-enactment. I only wish two beers had been grabbed in the re-enactment. My excitement for Steven Slater's antics can only be overtaken by these transcripts from 4chan's Founder, Chris Poole at a Federal Hearing. The 'tween in me is ROFL-ing and sexting at the SAME damn TIME. Rickrolling. Classic.

Prettymuch all this culled from Gawker.com.

KFC Doubles Down, WINS!!

The KFC Double Down is a food item consisting of two fried chicken breasts, some form of "melty, spicy cheese" and Swiss, and 2 strips of bacon. It also comes in a grilled format, but really now, that's like offering "vodka lite" to a stone alky. It's not what you're there for & I predict an early demise for the grilled version. The price point is a little high @ $5.49, for my fast food budget, so I consider it a "special occasion" item & in fact, I only got it because my partner in the race to a stroke bought it for me as a surprise study break. DELIGHTFUL!!! The KFC is about 5 min. by bike from my hidey hole and it arrived crisp and warm. I can only imagine it would have been about 10 times better if it were eaten "in house". However, it was great. The chicken wasn't overly greasy, the consistency of the melty cheese, which seemed to be the primary binding agent, reminded me of school cafeteria cheese but this was not unexpected. When you eat KFC, you eat KFC. The bacon was crispy and well defined. The Swiss was also remarkably well defined given its station in life. I did not feel ill at any point and could only really feel loved the entire time. Notably, there was a polite paper wrapper that was helpful and not a shred of vegetable to be found. If you have little kids or are in charge of any kids, this is not for them, not because of it's delicious high fat content, but because they can't handle it. Unless you've actually seen them eat two breasts and then some w/ your own eyes, forget it. Those babies won't be able to finish this and will only make it too gross for you to eat. That's what chicken strips or nuggets are for. Bon appetite!!

Not to take anything away from National Coming Out Day, but maybe we can add to it. People who eat KFC should come out in a big way on NCOD. Seems like anyone can come out as gay and be accepted, but how many secret KFC lovers are continuing to live a lie? Between Couture Food and Slow Food, the connisseur's of Fried exist in the culinary back alley. Well no longer, I say. I eat Fried.

I Forgot The Zohan

I forgot to mention I saw YOU DON'T MESS W/ THE ZOHAN out of cinematic desperation. I was as pleased as I could be to see Mariah Carey, George Takei, Bruce Villanch and John McEnroe, but was gravely disappointed to see Rob Schneider and to find out that Robert Smigel was a writer. This is a bleak time for American Cinema, people, & it has been for a while. I didn't think Zohan would really help, but man, I feel like Tatum O'neill researching a role. I need a GOOD hit, but I'll take a bad one. It did teach me something about hacky sack and the middle east, but otherwise, generally insulting.

I'm not against the Summer Blockbuster, per se, but where is the violence? The action? The summer season brings nothing to the table for adults, but I guess it never did. I guess this is the time for me to catch up on the seasons of 24 I haven't seen. Netflix & Denise Richards, here I come.