Legal Saver Update

I've read that parisexposed.com is owned by the "lady" herself. I'm doubting it only because she doesn't need the money & she most certainly doesn't need the exposure. I don't get it. I find it laughable that there are people who actually feel she's getting a raw deal. When you digitally commit, you're committed. When you write something down or don't use a WILDLY popular device @ my house called a shredder, you're committed. In an unprecedented Google bending weekend the site was stacked. I thought people would have had enough of her, but I was so wrong. I tried to go there too, so there 'ya go. It makes sense that the site will come down either way, so it's time to right click if you care y'all.

Tantrum Follow Up

I can say that when our Baby is around just me, I don't see him pitch a bitch much any more. It's just not the kind of lifestyle I maintain.

I had a hard time even finding much info re: baby tantrums and that's good. Not hanging a diagnosis on an animal less than 12 months old seems reasonable. Now toddler tantrums are another story. There's volumes out there about that. However, I found this weak article/wishlist. Every suggestion proposed is something any non hysterical, pro logic person would do. I found the part where I'm supposed to avoid tantrums completely ridiculous. Being afraid of what MIGHT upset a nine month old animal is not reasonable & it's poor modelling. Kids sense fear and weakness & like any good hustler, they aren't afraid to see how far they can go. I don't think it's malicious, I think it's trial and error and survival. I weep if this is the kind of article parents look to. This is a first world country (for now) and the trinity of feed, change, play IS ok. Crying is part of being a baby too. That's what they do. Letting frustration, intimidation and anger be a viable template for how to get things done is kinda irresponsible.

My plan of maintaining rules and boundaries is all I've really got to offer a Baby. Well that & a few carefully selected, time & baby honored toys that live exclusively @ my abode. It's surprisingly hard to execute, emotionally and physically, in an immediate fashion, but the big picture of a little uncarved block is at stake. Live in the forest, not a tree.

I'm sure CPS is on the way right now. Bring the noise.

Legal Saver

As I've stated before, I can't judge. But I can stay out of jail, which apparenty Paris Hilton doesn't want to do. It's also too bad that Nicole Ritchie was exposed in the mix. Although I guess she should have thought about it before she let someone take her picture while she stepped to the tray.

I like my universal assumptions about people who let their storage lockers expire. I think I'll keep 'em.

Is this the difference between the rich and the poor? What results in jail time for the gen. pop., makes a great party worth recording for the grotesque & wealthy. Where is my chest full of blow? I'm an Aunt. I have to put my blow away.

Increasingly Developed

Of course babies grow and hone their motor skills, but how about developing anger and frustration management? Those things are there, but how to not riot? I will consult some "experts" and return w/ my version of a possibly wrong solution. I've worked through my Whorf thing.

Security Officer Whorf

Because global & intergalactic security is every Aunt's concern, I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable w/ Mr. Whorf as a Star Fleet Officer. I've been called a specieist and a racist in the past 48 hours. I'm going to seriously examine my personal beliefs to get over this. I want to be comfortable w/ the Star Fleet Command...I just need to hash this out on the inside. I will be consulting a Star Fleet Study Group to help me. I will also watch more of the new Battlestar Galactica.

Programming for Babies

I watched an entire episode of Blue's Clues AND Dora the Explorer. TeleTubbies is no big deal, but that guy on Blue's Clues is VERY suspect. Now I'm going to play the Dora the Explorer Bingo game. That is so fucking racist. A real Mexican told me it was. I second that emotion.

DIRT is a show I welcome to my already impacted television watching schedule. Any show that has Courtney Cox getting herself off w/ a vibrator while reading a gossip rag AND features hot drug dealers making people do drugs to prove they aren't cops is a show I'll make time to see. The liberal dose of cursing and sex just dialed it in & locked it up. Not so interesting to babies, but pretty good for this Aunt. On the flip side, it had one Uncle trying to claw his own eyes out with every celebre-filthy frame, but that sounds like a personal problem. I feel about DIRT the same way I felt about Arrested Development. If you make it, the least I can do is watch it.

You Can Ring My Bell

What's Paula Abdul's problem? She would benefit from one of my especially awesome tasting bacon stuffed pork chops. You do not have a friend in the world if they'd let you out of the Green Room like that. I found Alpha Dog to be pretty damn good. It was funny as hell. I like funny movies.

Our baby has entered the "Golden Years" of child development. It's the developmental stage where a baby wants to hit its head on everything. It's almost like the way a dog can experience the world through tasting. This baby experiences the world through putting it in his mouth and hitting his head on it. The savvy Aunts buy a used infant bicycle helmet on eBAY for "not on an Aunt's watch" precautionary measures. Like a kitten getting used to wearing a collar, you gotta start them early. My idea is to just get him to incrementally get used to wearing it. Earlier this week he kept it on for nearly a minute and a half before he pitched a bitch. I am not a mean or unreasonable person. When the baby stops exhibiting behaviors that are bad for his unfused head plates, he doesn't have to wear the helmet. Or when he can figure out how to take it off. It's that simple.

Mac World 2.0

The only other redeeming factor @ Mac World, besides the stickers, was the beers. Even that is tenuous because 2 beers cost me $13.50 USD. Screw you, geeks.

BTW, apparently I was the first, and we did not get there early, female blogger to hit the "Blogger's Lounge". I have a very hard time believing that.

I'm pretty sure the secret the computer world is trying to hide from the general population is that you need a new computer monitor. I'm pretty sure all the flat panel TV's support your CPU. Buying a flat TV costs as much or less than a monitor these days and eventually they will all have digital tuners which you will need because in 4 or so years network TV as we know it will be switched to digital signals. That means no more rabbit ears. At least not for your TV anyway.

Live from SF...It's MAC WORLD!!

Today a certain fun loving Aunt crashed MAC World and is now using the "Blogger's Lounge", or whatever this is, to write. Really the iPOD w/ a phone is the only thing I saw that could be remotely helpful in aunting technology. One less item in the bag is significant. However, the prognosis of me actually buying this magical unicorn of a phone is pretty fucking remote. $600 and Cingular's proprietary network are two strikes as far as I'm concerned. Some "lounge" this is.. There aren't even any free alcoholic beverages. I'm going to look for the Maxell bus because they have the best stickers. OH, BTW, there are NO strollers or carriages allowed here. I believe that's discriminatory.

Anyhoo, I'll check back w/ you later from the filthy bowels of Hogwort's dungeon. Geek love & I'm out.

Early Forecast 2007

Seems like there's been overwhelming reports that 2007 is actually feeling pretty good. I'm kinda a flat line so I'm going to go ahead and pick up what my friends have been putting down. As you may know, I'm not an every day blogger. I mean, I don't post every day because I don't have that much to say on the daily tasks of being an Aunt & I feel comfortable w/ that. I can say our little baby is crawling, vocalizing loud gibberish and grabbing Auntie things like hell. Yikes. I don't want 2007 the year a baby blackmailed me. Getting bested by an infant is not on my agenda. He seems amenable to watching the 37 in. plasma screen for an agreeable 25% of the time. I know exactly what channel PBS Kids is on, though he apparently likes Animal Planet more. Our tastes in TV are quite similar except I like OZ and he doesn't.

Big TV

This is my TV. My old man bought it for me, it's so unnecessary, and I LOVE it. 37 inches of hot, plasma love. It's going to be hard to get the baby to NOT watch TV. He was already doing it before the monster TV got here, but now, we have a serious moral/ethical dilemma. I thought I tore a hole in the time-space continuum by watching an episode of Next Generation. Don't mess w/ the Dilithium Crystals. I don't even know what those words mean. Babies like Shark Week because it's always Shark Week somewhere in the vast television universe.